I love being in a new place, discovering new food, cultures, bars, drinks, and even going into supermarkets and finding stuff I’ve never seen before, but overall, traveling sucks.
Last month I had the pleasure of visiting Australia. Beautiful place, beautiful people, but spending 16 hours on planes was one of the shittiest experiences I’ve had to go through in my life. And that’s saying something, considering that many years ago I broke my femur and had to spend nine months on crutches. Still, 16 hours on a plane plus the extra three before the flight, plus a couple more on layovers on top of expensive airport lunch, coffee, and dinner makes the whole thing not start the way one would want. If you want to read our ongoing list of gadgets, tips and tricks you can see that here.
After the horrible logistical experience of flying, I usually have to add jet lag and back pain. The femur has some fault there too, along with some chronic sciatica. But worst of all, for the first three days I constantly feel like I have to take a shit. I’m not sure if it’s the cabin pressure or what, but it happens as soon as I get on a plane. Or maybe it’s because I checked my bank account after having three meals at airports, who knows.
So I drag my tired, crapping self around town with friends, holding a smile as much as I can for the first few days of the trip. My wife seems not to suffer any of the collateral effects of getting on planes, so there’s no need to add fighting to what’s supposed to be a relaxing time. So we walk, and walk, and walk, and walk. We sunbathe hour after hour, no restroom in sight, just a big blue ocean and public restrooms as my best friends for three days.
And then the worst thing ever happens: you go to bed. Or what someone thought could pass as a bed. This has happened even in the most expensive hotels, a sorry-ass pillow. And here they have two options. The first one, and I prefer this one. is a small, old, smelly whiff of a pillow with the thickness of a piece of paper. Or the worst possible option, at least for me: a behemoth of a pillow. I often wonder who buys that shit.
Having said that, I’m going to keep traveling. I love meeting new people, trying new food and drinks, and all that stuff. And I also love going home, sleeping in my bed, and taking a shit on my toilet.
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